The worst feeling is being lied to.

Being lied to hurts...(or at least it does to me). I feel like all lies, no matter how small, are wrong. I know of quite a few people that are currently lying to their spouses, and to their friends, and I feel confused about who is really ever telling the truth anymore. I have one particular friend who is currently being decietful. I try to offer advice to her about lying to her spouse and still try to be a good friend...somehow I try to be a good listener and advise her not to be decietful. I don't understand how people can lie and do things behind their loved ones back...even if things have gotten hard between them. How can people cheat on their spouses? It is so wrong. Why do people need to lie about where they are going or what they want to do. Chances are, what they would rather be doing wouldn't upset the other as much as if they lie to them about it. There are people in my life, that prior to this year..I honestly thought they were not liars but honest people. One of my closest friends has shocked me. I feel very disappointed. I can't trust her judgement anymore if she will do the decietful things she is doing. There are other close people in my life that have been lying here and there to me this year. Maybe they always have..but I just trusted they did not. As much as it hurts to discover that people lie to you even when they say they love you or say that they "don't" lie...I guess you have to just move onto focusing on being honest yourself. That is all you can do. For me, when you lie about even a small thing...it ruins the trust all the same. And what is so unfair...is that of all these liars I have just talked about...I am honest and I get lied to. Being lied to hurts.

A Woman

I am at work, and in walks my co worker. She is an older woman who has just divorced her husband of thirty years. She is soft spoken, slightly over weight, and worn out most days that we cross paths . She has shared glimpses of her life with me in a few brief conversations that we have had. Once she sadly mumbled, "I am invisible to the world now, because I am older and unmarried. I spent my life devoted to my husband and he had an affair with a younger woman. Now I am just invisible."

Being that I am young woman barely thirty, I contemplated her words of experience. I studied the disappointment in her eyes. I imagined my marriage of eight years being that of thirty. I pictured myself older and my husband leaving me for a young fox. Though years separate this woman and I, I relate to her as a woman who is in heart ache. I can imagine her emptiness. Had she pictured this when she said "I do".

Today is different though. She has come here on her day off. She is dressed in a sexy low cut top, fitted black pants, and beautiful gold sandals. Her lips are glossy and her makeup is done thoughtfully. She has no inclination that I am aware...aware that she has been asking the security guard on a date. So in she walks, on her day off...and I can guess who she is here to see. She claims she forgot her small orange makeup pouch here. She says she misplaced it and now cannot find it. She needs the assistance of security. And off she goes to find him. Good for her, I think to myself.

A few minutes later the security guard walks in, and rolls his eyes. He leaves my office annoyed. She re enters with a defeated voice and the look of someone who has been rejected. Her eyes are the only things glossy now. I tell her she looks beautiul, and she gives me a half smile as if to say.."what does it matter". I cannot help but to think of her loneliness. I imagine how she may have she spent all morning beautifying herself in hopes to be noticed. I think to myself...no matter what age you are, we all want to be loved.